UNBEARABLE PAIN
all this PAIN i'm
is just too much for ME to bear
NO ONE understands me at
can someone SAVE me from these pain
even when i'm under all those glaring stars
I still feel that it's very DARK
light comes & i walk ALONE
feelin lonely
feelin EMPTY
feelin down
ALWAES WAITING
i am
i want to
but i try not to
WAITIN to b accompanied
a
where u sit or stand ALONE
n LONELINESS u embrace
the PAIN in ur hEaRt approaches
ur mouth gets dry
is sitting down to CRY
i'm DYING
i'm afraid i cant bear E pain in my heart,
n would
i cant BREATHE
it's so hard
it's lik i hab to
SOMEONE...
TAKE my hands,HOLD mie tight
i wan to get
PLS....pls....PLS SAVE MIE FROM TIS PLACE
ll|ll|ll|ll|ll|ll|ll|
copyrighted by
`Huiishann-*
wooohooo...goin overseas tml lerhs!haihsx.todae play friendly match wif st` anthony n anglican.whooo so tired man!played total of 6 matches.i'm dying...l0ls'hahas.ok nvm i tried my best except for suen tt match coz leg cramp...poor mie...haishx.n won onli 2 matche..kaos.reali disappointed lors.but nvm it was a great experience for mie coz first tym play singles marhs.although lose 4 matches so many lors.but dun look down on mie wors.i will tried my best dex.run faster.poor mie lors.got a little small blister under my feet...awww...so pain...hahas.wish all e ppl in bmt luck.play well alwaes!muacks!haha
tried my best lerhs.hmm.actually i cried after playing wif ee lin..de jac de opponent.score was 13/21, 11/21. i reali tried my best lors.den lose was utterly disappointed.but nvm.i already tried my best le.it's okay!<3
ouhs` going overseas tiis saturdae lerhs.haishx.WILL miiss e division training dex.tym files lors.so fast dec le.feel tt i nv do anything except bmt training for E holidaes.nv study nv nth.lik wastin my tym lors.i nv do anything meaningful lehs..hmm.anyway,i'm goin broke!!go overseas still nig tuu buy things for 2G'o6 ppl den whole badminton teamPLUScoach.den some more frens lik reina larhs hontat larhs den still gorts.SIANX.l0ls'E luggage will b overweight!haha.hope go there will b able tuu get my favourite e things.Lik pencil box, bag;etc.hope it'll b fun!haiya...den cant post for 12 daes.tml mayb cant post lerhs.Coz tml 7.30am nid reach sch.Den sch bus drive us tuu bishan play friendly match wif dunno wad sch.hmm...dunno coach will ask mie play anot lehs.IF coach ask mie play,i scared i kana scoldin lors coz my servin alwaes out niax.Kaos.PHEWS.n sumtyms i no tym move backwards den my high ball onli half of e court niax.den e opponent will sha qiu.n i alwaes hit e ball back tuu e opponent's hand.Hope i will improve lors.=].WISH MIE LUCK!*kekex*smilex-
[[ + ^ the stress i'm undergoing.will i be able tuu cope?holdin back my tears.tried my best.sumtyms reali angry bout myself.i noe i should make e opponent run.but fail tuu.everytym forgot lors.if not i tink i will get more points.reali very angry of myself.cant i use my brain n think instead of thinkin stupid stuff!everytym i hit e ball back tuu e opponent's hand dex.yingen also said tt.nvm.try harder next tym.JIA YOU HUISHAN! _____*]]haishx such a useless freak! so angry of myself!!!!!!!!stupid brains i hab!.grrrrrh..
haishx.THANKS for those encourging words.reali felt touched coz ppl cared for mie...hahas.u all brighten up my dae!!!hahas.THANKS ALOT.without those words i think i'm already on e waes of giving up...i will work up no matter wad.=]i'l; try my best even if i dun make it or wadeva happens.
-TODAE-
after traiining stroke wif michelle n ying en..so tuu train my footwork.I WAN MY TUU RUN FASTER!!!hahas-after awhile played singles wif esther lam.of coz i lose larhs.hahas.but at least i learn from my mistake-tt is i run tuu slow...haha.i'll try tuu train dex.after tt played wif xiiao baii.actualli wan tuu count e points dex...but she saes play play wif mie can lerhs den we play l0rs...hmmm...a great experience!coz i treat her as my very strong opponent.den in my heart i keep on encouraging myself....mux try my best....hahas.anyway,she taught my how tuu serve e ball.[kai qiu];how tuu serve high n far...my servin alwaes out dex.so i ask her how tuu serve high high...den she teach mie l0rs...den she still teach mie when i serve liaos my stand in e middle den legs bent abit so easy tuu run.den i do wad sae teach mie.N she still teach mie when i cuo qiu infront dun striaght away run tuu e back...whereas,move one step back INCASE e opponent cuo qiu back tuu mie so tt i'll hab e tym tuu hit e ball back...n i no nid tuu run so far...den still got...when i hit high ball[back hand de] tuu e opponent, i mux move one step forward incase e opponent gib mie another high ball back coz it's v difficult[not reali lars] tuu che sheng[coz back hand marhs den wan use fore hand tuu hit e ball] sounded complicated but nvm...hahas..i tink onli bmt de understand bahs?haha.lik tt lors.li xuan saes: play singles mux use brain.mux tink where tuu hit e ball so tt e opponent most likely will hab diificulties tuu hit back e ball.i must alwaes rmb it.n use my brain n tink.singles de reaction mux be fast.thanks tuu those who r helped mie tuu improve.dey r so willingly tuu help mie l0rs.reali very thankful.=].THANKS.i'll continue tuu work hard too.i dun wish tuu disappoint those who hab confidence in mie.or i wont feel good dex.JIA YOU HUISHAN!hahas-
my cheerleaders.L0LS'.hahas-[jk.found tis pic from internet.]
anyway,one more thing...b4 i end.hmm...one thing tuu sae.SOMEONE*i noe u now very pro in something* but can dun be so proud?hope u r changin ur attitude lors.dun b such a proud person.tt ppl HATE.becareful one dae u will fall.i hate ur attitude.reali sucks.N dun act chio act lian larhs.u sec 1 not lik tt dex.dunno since when u've changed.scold vulgars dat u dun scold b4.be urself.n i dun find any reason(s) why e fuckin hell u've changed.theres no ah lian or whoeva who is close tuu u.N it's obviously u wanna change urself dex.unless u hab ah lian friends or wadsoeva so mayb u kana influence by dem.but u dunch.why u wanna change?in e beggining i hab reali a very good impression of u.u reali v good in e past lors.NOW?n now u kept on critisizing ppl around u.CANT U STOP?u dun tink i dunno u also got sae mie okays?if u dare sae infront of mie.shout into my ears larhs!why b a humji sae behind my back?tis also concerns other ppl u've criticised.shout into their ears IF U DARE DUN CRITICISE PPL BEHIND PPL'S BACK.be a man.dare to do,dare tuu admit.OR PPL WILL LOOK DOWN ON U.u're jux a shit beneath my feet.=]signin off.finally let out all those hatred in my heart.i've been tellin myself tuu tahan.juz one more tym....one more tym...but now.i reali cant stand it.so wad if u r so pro in wadeva shit.compared tuu u, i noe i lousy but at least i dint *cant reach e grapes,sae e grapes sour*L0LS'.unlik u.BLEHX-shall end now.orelse later got valcano.hope u change ur attitude.i'm not scoldin or wad.i onli hope u will change.tt's all.
haishx..i'm such a failure lor.play badminton until so sucks!haihsx...reali sad lor...feel lik givin up.but i trained for almost two years.N it's realii tough.N if i give up now.it's lik so wasted.haishx.i wan tuu b as pro as lam n yumiko.i onli ask for tt.i dun wan tuu get reali reali pro lik xiao bai.but my expectations onli so low but seems lik i cant reach my expectations.WHY?i'll continue tuu try my best but i scared i cant.my patience is losing up...i noe i mux work hard so my footwork n skills will improve...haishx.but reali tough lors.reali very stressed.sleep also dream of HOW tuu play singles...how tuu run faster n how tuu hit e ball...haihsx...all tis stress i'm coping...hope i'm coping well.i missed doubles.but i noe i cant look back.it's all e past.haishx.N now i reali hab tuu put in all my effort.-TRYING HARD-
2dec which is sat.will b flying...overseas.
den 13th cum back...14th dec resume training.
haihsx...reali worried tt my stamina n bmt skills n those footwork will deprove.now i already so lousy liaos.will my skills drop when i cum back for training?L0Ls' i sounded like i'll b gone for a long long tym...hahas.but i'm jux worry lors.can i leave everything down n enjoy my holidaes?
can i stop worrying?CAN I?i'm reali reali stressed.i'm gonna work hard n put in my effort tuu be as pro as them.-far behind from dem-HOPE ITS JUX BECZ I JUX JOIN SINGLES.
- ` [[ * praying hard;hope my skills n footwork will improve + ]] ` wiish miie luck___
stucked here.
i dunno wad tuu do.
ALL ALONE.
even in bmt.
now playin singles.
next year too.nobody same class as mie.
no frens at all.onli yixin,gina.
no more.haishx.
reali sucks lors.
my life sux.
i wan frens.suddenly felt so damn ass lonely.reali lonely lors.haihsx.i dun wanna continue anymore.it's so tough.dunno if i can cope anot.my world is like darkness.feel like crying.cry out loud.cry all my might.i realli felt so sucky.lik nobody tuu talk tuu.nobody tuu share secrets wif.tt kind of terrible feeling.dunno why feel tis way.realli felt so terrible.wad will my life b , tml?next week?1 hr later?haishx.i'm tinkin much?i duno.
camp's fun!especially e night walk...tough mie kana flourPLUSwaterPLUSdetergent,IT'S FUN!we hab tuu blind fold ourselves.den walk.
anyway first night onli slept for 2hrsPLUS.coz of richoon's laughter.n sec1girls de gossips.den 2nd night emily snatch sleepin bag from mie!!!grrr so cold...tt tym iwas reali tired den dun care so much le...den sleep immediately lerhs...3am sleep until 7am.szeting pat on my butt tuu wake mie up.den i woke up lors.feelin cold n reali tired.hmmm...now also tired.anyway camp's fun lors.
haha.all thanks tuu e committee members.who planned so hard.signing off.hab tuu help jessica do her blog de template.-sianx-everytym bully mie.ask mie do.wah kao.bad siax.
todae coach ask us tuu write down who we wan tuu pair wif.1st choice n 2nd choice.So stressed.i reali dunno put who lors.thinkin v hard.of coz nobody wans tuu a person who is not reali good in bmt rites?yea~tt's why.michelle sae she put mie as 1st choice.but i dunno whether tuu put her as 1st choice anot.coz i like make but alot of mistakes bahs?but she sae we mo qi good.but i dunno lehx.okok larhs.sumtyms also got some ball we dunno who take.SOMETYMS ONLI.ok den second choice i dunno put who leis?i reali very fan nia...dunno who tuu put.sianx...will go ask ppl who dey choose den ask dem gib opinion.see lors.=]
i hope i wont make e wrong choice.
n if i nv choose *whoeva* reali sorry.
i realii dunch noe lehx.
HELP MIE=]
i onli noe my bmt skills sucks!
_ SUICIDED.
` HuiShan
` 29th march
` fourteen
` badminton
` loves 2G`o6
` Fuhua sec
` aries
` siingle
` waiiting f0r my PRINCE =))
_ HATES.
` backstabbers
` liars
` ppl who loves tuu act
` hyprocrites
` cheaters
` betrayers
MY ONLY WAY OUT
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